At 23 years old, what I have now seemed impossible. I was a virgin (not by choice), the typical ‘nerd’ who didn’t get dates or get invited to parties or anywhere, and I had no idea how to attract women or have conversations with them. All I wanted at the time was a girlfriend who loved me, yet I couldn't even get a woman to want to be kissed by me.

Luckily, I discovered ‘pickup artistry’ right after my 23rd birthday. At the time, this was my lifesaver, rescuing me from complete desperation and loneliness in my love life. I learned the confidence and competence to communicate and lead when meeting a woman and dating a woman. I learned how to create attraction and connection, and sustain it. And I learned how to do it, for the most part, by entertaining myself and having fun, being true to who I was.

Thanks to the skills and mindset I cultivated through that work, I spent almost a decade having fun yet superficial relationships and experiences with women. For a while it was exciting, transformative, and a big ego boost. But eventually the lifestyle became increasingly boring and pointless. I decided I wanted more, and needed more. I needed a deep fulfilling permanent relationship.

So I began looking for a wife, and it wasn't long before I eventually found the woman I wanted to marry, and I married her.

What I didn’t realize at the time, was that I had picked my perfect woundmate. I picked someone who was hyper-independent financially and emotionally, because my masculine instinct of devotion were not online. Pickup artistry had taught me almost everything I needed to know to become the man I needed to be... but it didn't teach me anything about Devotion. And the instinct to Devote to a woman, is what allows a boy to grow up into a protective, competent, loving man.

That instinct was covered in wounds that compelled me to be stingy and uninterested in taking care of a woman in all of the ways she needed. So I unconsciously attracted one who had her own wounds that covered up her deep need for a man to take care of her.

My marriage to my wife was functional for the first few years. We were both relatively mature, and we had high self esteem, so we maintained a reasonable degree of attraction and connection for each other, with only intermittent fights once every couple weeks. We were ‘best friends’. But I was not the devotional centered leader I could be for her, and she was not the respectful vulnerable follower she could be for me.

Everything changed the day our son Mikah was born. He was born with a rare genetic condition and brain damage, and was a medical emergency from the moment he came into this world. From that first moment, I finally experienced what Devotion felt like; an intense desire to take care of someone who was not me. I had never experienced that with my wife. I had never experienced that with anyone.

I felt that desire to make sure my son was happy, held, and safe, as much as possible. It wasn't just a desire, it became my greatest need. 

Tragically, due to his circumstances, I could only do so much. My main role those first few weeks of his life was protecting him from very bad medical decisions, and supporting my wife to make her life easier to produce breastmilk for him.

My instinct as the masculine protector and provider had come fully online, and there was no going back.

When we brought our baby boy home weeks later was when the problems started. My masculine instincts had come fully online, and I now needed my wife to communicate with respect for me as her leader, and I needed her to receive my leadership without resistance.

At the same time, my wife needed so much more from me. She needed my competent leadership, and she had no idea how to communicate what she needed in a way that was respectful and would inspire me to take care of her. Because she had a child to take care of, she was in a very vulnerable position, and realized she couldn’t get her needs met alone. 

Because my wife didn’t know how to communicate her needs, my need for respect didn’t get met.

Because I didn’t know how to communicate my need for respect and lead my wife to respect me, I felt a loss of inspiration to cherish her and meet her needs.

Because my wife didn’t get cherished, she had a lot more unmet needs, which she communicated increasingly disrespectfully, which caused a further drop in my inspiration to cherish her…

And so we started fighting. A lot. Daily. Multiple times a day. And I became very motivated to find a solution.

I performed something of a miracle. Due to my years as a pickup artist, I was very adept at understanding the art of communication and how the energy of how we communicate affects another person.

So I paid attention to how my wife responded when I communicated certain ways.

And I paid attention to how I felt when she communicated certain ways.

I discovered a way of communicating when leading my wife that speaks directly to her need for direction, strength, love, and emotional safety. The more I used it, the more she ended up trusting and respecting me, and willing to submit to my lead. I called this 'masculine communication.'

I also discovered a way of my wife communicating that speaks directly to my need for respect, gratitude, softness, and vulnerability. The more I taught her to use it, the more I felt respect and inspiration to serve her and take care of her. I called this 'feminine communication'.

Applying this communication didn’t just heal our relationship, it gave us a vehicle to heal ourselves. My wife learned how to let go of all control and trust and follow my lead, and I learned how to emotionally center myself and stay in a devotion frequency for my wife.

As we were beginning to apply this communication into our marriage, our son died, at six months old. An inevitability from the start which we did everything to avoid. His whole life was a painful tragedy for all of us.

But within that tragedy, was the greatest gift we could have received. The greatest blessing. Not just for us, but ultimately, for the world.

Our son’s birth had uncovered and activated our buried needs and instincts. He forced us into a situation where we had to confront and heal our wounds that we had been operating from. I knew if I didn’t figure out how to do that, we might end up divorced, because I was being constantly irritated by everything my wife did.

We had to grow, because what used to attract me, was repelling me. What used to not bother me too much, had become unbearable. I had to figure out a way to make things better.

And the biggest motivator at the time was my love for my son during his short life. I had to do it for him, because he needed his mom and dad on the same team so we could best meet his needs. So I did.

Long after our son left us, the gift he gave us only became more valuable. In less than two years, we went from arguing multiple times a day, to never arguing.

But no longer arguing was only one of many benefits of learning and applying masculine and feminine communication.

I learned how to lead my wife to meet all of her needs so that she feels cherished all the time. Whenever a need is unmet, she just uses feminine communication and I’m inspired to rectify that.

I feel fully respected all the time. Whenever my wife accidentally communicates with a lack of respect, I just use masculine communication to show her how she communicated disrespectfully and how to shift it.

Less than two years ago we were blessed with another child, a daughter. Perfectly healthy in every way. Everything was different this time around compared to when our son was born. No fighting. No unmet needs. No real problems to speak of. Just me leading to take care of my wife, and my wife following and expressing what she needs vulnerably so I feel inspired to take care of her.

We created what I call ‘the Dream Relationship’.

An awesome accomplishment in itself, but I didn’t stop there. It became my mission to coach other men and women learn how to create their own dream relationship like I did.

It wasn't just my mission either, I believe my son came into this world in the way he did to set me on this mission, and he left this world only when he knew I wasn’t going to give up on it.

From coaching men and women, I realized that what I learned and shifted in my relationship wasn’t unique to my wife and I, we had learned and applied universal principles that apparently anyone could learn if they were coached properly.

I proved this to myself by helping single men attract incredible feminine women and create relationships with them, and by helping single women attract incredible masculine men and be claimed by them.

I further proved this to myself by helping women in relationships inspire their man to cherish them, and by helping men in relationships to command their woman’s respect.  

Many of these men and women had been coached about masculinity and femininity for years or decades, yet none had been taught anything like what I was teaching them. I had discovered something that no one else seemed to have figured out. 

Sure the words ‘submission’ and ‘leading’, ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ have been used to describe this type of dynamic since long before I was born. Yet, in practice, no one was actually teaching a specific and detailed communication method to get men and women from point ‘A’ to ‘B’. Some coaches were teaching something called ‘feminine communication’, yet it wasn’t feminine at all, and wouldn’t inspire a man into devotion. Some coaches were teaching something that looked like leading, but the man wasn't actually energetically in charge.

What a mess.

Crazier still, what I had discovered seemed to be Biblical. The bible describes this dynamic clearly, and yet most Christian marriages aren’t communicating in the way we learned either, most are living in a ‘pseudo’ polarity dynamic where the man typically has more of the control, but he’s not in devotion. The woman is following, yet also doesn’t have a voice to get her needs met. Christian relationship counsellors weren’t doing the best job to teach an effective way to fix this either.

How could something so transformational and rooted in natural law be so hidden from the world all this time?

I knew I had to increase my influence and help more people, in a much bigger way. So only six months after I began coaching, I decided to create a transformational group program called the ‘Relationship Of Your Dreams Academy’. A program where single and coupled men and women learn masculine and feminine communication, and then practice it with each other and the coaches. We help students through all of their fears and discomfort, as they move through their wounds. Men learn to lead and emotionally center themselves, women lead to express vulnerably and feel all of their feelings fully. They then take these shifts into their love lives and watch their own transformation happen.

I’ve been running the Academy for 2.5 years, and in that time we’ve built a community of almost 300 students. All of our students now become family, once they join with us, they get lifetime access and support. I believe that strongly in these transformations, that I can back up what we do in this way.

I have created a solution to heal your love life, and the world.

I'd love it if you join us.